Monday, November 14, 2011

Listen To Me Right Now Or Else I'll Cut Your Throat.

You know how you can tell I'm serious about this post? Because of it's title. Right there are the words 'or else I'll cut your throat' and those words mean business. (I was going to say 'or else I'll cut your fingers off and put them in a jar in my closet, along with the rest of the severed limbs I've collected over the years,' but I didn't want people to think tl;dr).

Here's the deal, friends and neighbors: people have, in the past, gone out of their way to tell me that they like the artworks that I do (that's right, artworks). So I started this blog, ho hum whatever, right? Wrong.

That's how this goes... right?

Either you are all lying and the things I do are unworthy of the attention of the general public, or... you know what, the end. I didn't have a finish for that sentence when I started it. So there. If you seriously like the things I do, I have to ask you a favor, but first, backstory.

I was wondering what would be considered, you know, 'good' for a number of page views and clicked the first link I saw when I Googled it, which gave me this helpful gem:

I took that to mean 'do a google search for what your blog is about and then divide the number of hits by blah blah math hoobity blah.' I did just that:

Am I the only one who read the 'did you mean...' in a snotty voice?

Google told me 'about 11,000 results.'  So then I did another Google search:

Because it is the year 2011 (that means it's the high-tech future right now) and there is no reason why I should be expected to do my own math problems, that's why. Wait... isn't there a movie along that premise where nobody knows how to do long division except the one guy and he ends up saving the people and.... I feel like maybe my dad made it up to threaten me when I got bad grades in math? Let's not talk about it any more.

Now, I'm not going to tell you how many page views I get in a day because that's personal and who are you to be nosying around in my private matters, anyway? But I AM going to tell you it's not one thousand one hundred and one. 

Now for the tricky part. Do you have a Facebook? Do you also have friends? Did you answer yes to both of the above questions? Great. Then you can help me. You see, I have a handy dandy little Facebook page. Right now, I have this many followers:

That number is called 33. So here's what I ask of you: please, oh please oh please oh please, may you copy and paste the URL of my blog and/or Facebook page onto your profile and the profiles of anyone you might think would be interested in what I do. Ashamedly, yes. I am asking you to promote me and my work. It would be greatly, greatly appreciated. I'm just trying to branch out a little. Also, if YOU have a blog, I would greatly appreciate it if you would send a link to me, via FB or something. 

And to anyone who might be new here, let me introduce myself. My name is Jordyn Ashli Baker and this is my blog of weirdy little art things to look at and stuff. I post designstypography, clip art, projects, and custom shoes a couple times a week. Every picture, clip art, design, etc. I post is at your disposal to use for free because that's what art is all about: sharing. I also sell custom-designed hand-painted shoes for $30.00 or $35.00 a pair, depending on where the shoes come from. I'm passionate about everything from the Fibonacci sequence to Shakespeare. I'm not a wonderfully all-around fabulous artist all the time, but I put my heart into what I do and I'm eighteen without any formal artistic schooling, but learning as I go along. I've got a few pieces of commission work under my belt and I'm more than willing to tackle other projects. If you have one in mind or would like custom shoes, email me at

Now, in parting, I'm going to leave you with a picture of my pet sugar glider, Bruce, because who could resist such adorably huge eyes? No one except maybe Skeletor.

1 comment:

  1. um, Jordyn?! You are the hilariousest, cutest, most talentedest person I could ever know! I love you and I think you are brilliant!