You Should Go And Listen To Some Music.

This is my favorite song.

This is my favorite page on Facebook.

Chess Set.

A while back, I posted this doodle of a chess design:

Well, lately I've been trying to broaden my horizons artistically and decided to try my hand at sculpting and this is the result:

Here's my chess set. It took two days to make from start to finish, which was much shorter than I had expected. They started out looking like this:

After which, I drew the checkers and stripes on.

 Here are the kings standing side by side. I wanted to keep that Alice-In-Wonderland kind of feel and so they don't match exactly and feel kind of skewed. It's also hard to tell in the pictures, but they are pretty sturdy and feel like ceramic. They're not gummy or pliable at all.

Here are the queens together. I made them hearts and diamonds to be reminiscent of a deck of cards.

For the bishops, I wanted them to resemble actual Bishop hats. Here's the result:

Here are the knights:

And the rooks:

And finally the pawns are just little tiny:

So... there you have it.

If you're interested in buying a set, email me at jordynashli@gmail.com.

To get daily updates, like my Facebook page.

Listen To Me Right Now Or Else I'll Cut Your Throat.

You know how you can tell I'm serious about this post? Because of it's title. Right there are the words 'or else I'll cut your throat' and those words mean business. (I was going to say 'or else I'll cut your fingers off and put them in a jar in my closet, along with the rest of the severed limbs I've collected over the years,' but I didn't want people to think tl;dr).

Here's the deal, friends and neighbors: people have, in the past, gone out of their way to tell me that they like the artworks that I do (that's right, artworks). So I started this blog, ho hum whatever, right? Wrong.

That's how this goes... right?

Either you are all lying and the things I do are unworthy of the attention of the general public, or... you know what, the end. I didn't have a finish for that sentence when I started it. So there. If you seriously like the things I do, I have to ask you a favor, but first, backstory.

I was wondering what would be considered, you know, 'good' for a number of page views and clicked the first link I saw when I Googled it, which gave me this helpful gem:

I took that to mean 'do a google search for what your blog is about and then divide the number of hits by blah blah math hoobity blah.' I did just that:

Am I the only one who read the 'did you mean...' in a snotty voice?

Google told me 'about 11,000 results.'  So then I did another Google search:

Because it is the year 2011 (that means it's the high-tech future right now) and there is no reason why I should be expected to do my own math problems, that's why. Wait... isn't there a movie along that premise where nobody knows how to do long division except the one guy and he ends up saving the people and.... I feel like maybe my dad made it up to threaten me when I got bad grades in math? Let's not talk about it any more.

Now, I'm not going to tell you how many page views I get in a day because that's personal and who are you to be nosying around in my private matters, anyway? But I AM going to tell you it's not one thousand one hundred and one. 

Now for the tricky part. Do you have a Facebook? Do you also have friends? Did you answer yes to both of the above questions? Great. Then you can help me. You see, I have a handy dandy little Facebook page. Right now, I have this many followers:

That number is called 33. So here's what I ask of you: please, oh please oh please oh please, may you copy and paste the URL of my blog and/or Facebook page onto your profile and the profiles of anyone you might think would be interested in what I do. Ashamedly, yes. I am asking you to promote me and my work. It would be greatly, greatly appreciated. I'm just trying to branch out a little. Also, if YOU have a blog, I would greatly appreciate it if you would send a link to me, via FB or something. 

And to anyone who might be new here, let me introduce myself. My name is Jordyn Ashli Baker and this is my blog of weirdy little art things to look at and stuff. I post designs, typography, clip art, projects, and custom shoes a couple times a week. Every picture, clip art, design, etc. I post is at your disposal to use for free because that's what art is all about: sharing. I also sell custom-designed hand-painted shoes for $30.00 or $35.00 a pair, depending on where the shoes come from. I'm passionate about everything from the Fibonacci sequence to Shakespeare. I'm not a wonderfully all-around fabulous artist all the time, but I put my heart into what I do and I'm eighteen without any formal artistic schooling, but learning as I go along. I've got a few pieces of commission work under my belt and I'm more than willing to tackle other projects. If you have one in mind or would like custom shoes, email me at jordynashli@gmail.com.

Now, in parting, I'm going to leave you with a picture of my pet sugar glider, Bruce, because who could resist such adorably huge eyes? No one except maybe Skeletor.

This is Depressing, Don't Read It.

Momento Mori means 'remember your mortality.' The concept is that a piece of art, a phrase, a song, etc. reminds you (painfully) of the fact that one day you will die. Hopefully that day is far away for all of us. 

I've been in a kind of momento mori mood lately (maybe it's because of Hamlet--is reading it twice through in the space of a week too much?) and thought I'd dredge up some old drawings I did a while back:

The human skull is a common theme in momento mori artwork,

and while skulls are striking, there's something about the bones

of a hand that make me shudder. Sort of like when Hamlet says

"That skull had a tongue in it, and could sing once"

you can't help but wonder what a hand did before it became bare bones.

Calla lilies are commonly used at funerals.

I generally try to not sound like the obsessive over-thinker that I am, but it apparently shone through in this post. Oops. It's because of Shakespeare, okay? I have an enthusiasm for Shakespeare that is borderline ridiculous. Oh no, here it comes.... I just love Hamlet because it's so incredibly, deeply thought provoking. Shakespeare is amazing and all of his plays are  amazing for different reasons. For example, Henry V is full of insults and powerful speeches to rally courage, but Hamlet... Hamlet is full of brooding, challenging ideas and themes. In 'to be or not to be' he addresses every basic human question in the most beautiful language.... Anyway, I like Shakespeare and especially Hamlet and today I felt like reminding you that one day you're going to die. Sorry.

And to close it all out, here's a line from Hamlet that wraps everything up nicely. Here he's talking about facing the prospect of death:

There is special providence in the fall of a sparrow. 

If it be now, 'tis not to come; if it be not to come, 

It will be now; if it be not now, yet it will come—

The readiness is all. Since no man, of aught he leaves, knows what is't
to leave betimes, let be.

So there you have it. One day you'll die, maybe tomorrow. But don't worry about it because there's nothing really you can do and remember that God is watching after you. 

Also, Shakespeare.

The end.

Some More Shoes.

Because, glitter makes everything wonderful.

Also, did you know that my custom shoes are water resistant? 

That means the colors aren't going to run together. 

Oh, you like that about them? Hmm, interesting.

If you want some, you could

email me at jordynashli@gmail.com. 

Just sayin.

STEVE.

Steve is my friend who is also a rubber dinosaur. I like Steve because of his ability to take great pictures; the problem with Steve is that said pictures are so stupid. Today my cousin and I set up a lavish photo shoot with Steve. He enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. My cousin enjoyed it. It was fun all around.

 He is wearing rain boots in this picture.

In this picture, he is saying, "BUSCUZE ME,

DOCTOR, CAN I COME INTO YOUR

TARDIS?"

When Steve speaks, it is in all caps.

"LET US SEE WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS."

"LEAVE ME ALONE I'M ASLEEP."

"I'M BEAUTIFUL!"

Well, look what the cat dragged in.

THE END.

Here, use these.

Here is some more clip art... You can use these next time you're making a flyer. You're welcome.

Here is a fried egg.

Here is some bacon.

This is an egg that is not fried, but maybe it is hard boiled. 

Sometimes it's difficult to tell.

These are supposed to be pancakes with syrup.

This is an apple.

\

This is a cheeseburger with bacon and lettuce and tomatoes.

This is a cookie.

This is a cupcake that looks like it weighs 60 pounds.

This is a tomato.

If you would like to request a different kind of clip art or would like a pair of custom shoes,, email me at jordynashli@gmail.com. Also... please remember to like and share. :)