Thursday, January 5, 2012

The Great Closet Cleanout of 2012 and the things it caused to happen, including some weirdy little art things.

Once upon a time I decided to clean out the closet in my bedroom and about halfway through the destruction, I thought I might should take some pictures. ("Might should" is a valuable piece of the English language that I learned from living in Texas. It is the classy equivalent to "fixin' to.")

Here they are:

I found many wondrous things, including my own foot (located in the bottom right corner, next to a box of the foulest smelling candles I've ever met and a lovely picture frame).

 This is the view from within the closet.

I know what you're thinking. "Impressive, Jordyn. I mean, It's nice and all, but I'm here to see your weirdy little art things, nothing more. What does this pigsty have to do with art?"

Well, my dear friends (all five of you), let me enlighten you. Let's start with my time-honored method of cleaning:

Day One: In an angry rage at being unable to find your puffy paint, tear everything out of your closet all at once. Throw junk in the trash like it's not even a thing. Sort stuff. Locate every shoe box you own.

Day Two: Suddenly remember that you started watching Star Trek: The Next Generation on Netflix the other day. Go ahead and watch an episode or two "while you clean." ("While you clean" means only rush around and throw stuff into boxes during the thirty-second intro music.) While rushing, discover countless invaluable treasure, such as:

The locking mechanism from a car sitting on a giant paper lantern.

This... scholar. What is this? 
I didn't even graduate like that...
I never even wore a mortarboard hat...

This awesome Incredibles poster, which I'd forgotten about 
(it was taped to a wall) and a print of the second coming.
Maybe I'll go to hell for saying it, but....
it kind of looks like Dash punched Jesus out of the sky.
So... yeah.

But I also found at least a hundred of THESE:

Where was I? Oh, yeah:

Day Three: Find quotes from your old journals and notebooks and make them into weirdy little art things for your blog. Update your blog despite the loads of garbage sitting outside your room. Also finish season four of Star Trek.

So, I was apparently quite philosophical during my junior high years and found some valuable as well as some really, really, really painfully stupid things. I've made them look fancy and compiled them here BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO DO, APPARENTLY.

And you should be, too. Those guys get eaten all the time.


  1. Ah ha ha ha ha ha! You are a funny, funny girl, Jordy! You made me truly laugh OUT loud several times during this blog! Thanks. I needed a good laugh! :)